Now,I think that my life left off with me being in love with my guy friend. I have thought this through,and I throughly believe that I was smashed when I said that, as well as when I wrote that entry. TJ and I are a completely horrific match, and we should never attempt anything ever ever again. Lesson re-learned: DO NOT DRINK TEQUILA.

In the man department, there is nobody special. I've been talking to a few guys, but none of them have any spark.Blah.

So prom is coming up, and I can't wait. I think that I am going with Scott (need to call that asshole), so I am automatically guaranteed to have a blast. Going with my best guy friend is about the best thing that I can think of. I can't fucking wait. BUT if he decides to back out now, I am going to be forced to kick his ass.Ha, either way I am going to have fun.

Also new: check out my thoughts on.....

TWITTER!!!

www.twitter.com/carolynkinnear

Have fun y'all.

Hustle Bustle
And so much muscle
Our cells about to separate
Now I find it hard to concentrate
And temporary, this cash and carry
I’m stepping up to indicate
The time has come to deviate and

All I want is for you to be happy
And take this moment to make you my family
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found…

Death defying, this mess I’m buying
It’s raining down with love and hate
Now I find it hard to motivate
And estuary is blessed but scary
Our hearts about to palpitate
And I’m not about to hesitate

And want to treasure the rest of your days here
And give you pleasure in so many ways, dear
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found…
Here we go.

Do you want me to show up for duty?
And serve this woman and honor her beauty?
And finally you have found something perfect
And finally you have found... yourself
With me...
Will you... agree... to take this man... into your world..
And now... we are as one...

My lone ranger,
The heat exchanger
Is living in this figure 8
Now I’ll do my best to recreate.
And Sweet precision.
And soft collision
Our hearts about to palpitate
Now I find it hard to separate.

And all I want is for you to be happy
And take this woman and make you my family
And finally you have found someone perfect
And finally you have found

All I want is for you to be happy
And take this woman and make you my family
And finally you have found someone perfect
And finally you have found…
Yourself.

-Hard To Concentrate-Red Hot Chili Peppers

This started out as me replying to Jenn's comment,but then it got too long.

Well,we didn't really say anything to each other on Monday,but yesterday,he (TJ) was being all helpful and shit.

At lunch he comes over to the other table at the band table,and just sits there facing us,but he won't even talk to me.Anyway,yesterday he did that and I refused to make eye contact with him but I knew that he was staring at me, and then in band class, I was bitching about how there were no chairs in the top row for me to put my stuff on, and by the time that I got my instrument out, he had my bag on the chair and was putting my coat on the back of it.Then after the she told us that we could put our stuff away, I was in a hurry so I just threw my folder at the chair, and it opened up,and then once again after I put my instrument away, he was sitting there not only putting everything back, but organizing it.

For the pass two days he has walked with through the gym and down the hallway,compared to him usually walking down the ramp to get to his bus.

At lunch today,Lex was back in school,and he sat at one end of the table,and then she came and sat at the other end...beside that Danny guy.Oh yeah, I saw them standing in line together and TJ actually turned around to look at me, and I completely looked the other way.What, is he challenging me to say something to him?But anyway, after she sat down beside Danny,he looked like he was going to cry.And the people that sit around him are like Jordan and Haley, and they never say a word to him,so he doesn't talk to anyone ever.But yea,and I thought that they broke up again.

But today in band,he came and sat behind my chair where I put my stuff, so clearly he wanted to talk to me, but what do we talk about?How he rode into school with Lex and her mom,and how they need to do their biology tonight and shit like that.He said her name three times.I counted.But then we saw her in the hallway,and I like,ran away while he was in the middle of a sentence.

At first,I thought that he realized that he made a mistake,but now I think that he just wants to talk to me like we use to,and he is trying to make it less awkward.NOT WORKING.

Who are you to wave your finger?
Ya' must have been out your head
Eyehole deep in muddy waters
You practically raised the dead

Rob the grave to snow the cradle
Then burn the evidence down
Soapbox, house of cards and glass
So don't go tossin' your stones around

You must have been high
You must have been high
You must have been

Foot in mouth and head up asshole
Whatcha talkin' 'bout?
Difficult to dance 'round this one
Til you pull it out, boy!

You must have been, so high
You must have been, so high

Steal, borrow, refer,
Save your shady inference
Kangaroo done hung the juror
With the innocent

Now you're weeping shades of cozened indigo
Got lemon juice up in your...EYE!

When you pissed all over my black kettle
You must have been HIGH, HIGH
You must have been HIGH, HIGH

Who are you to wave your finger?
So full of it
Eyeballs deep in muddy waters
F**king hypocrite

Liar, lawyer,
Mirror, show me
What's the difference?

Kangaroo done hung the guilty
With the innocent
NOW!!

You're weeping shades of cozened indigo
Got lemon juice up in your high eye
When you pissed all over my black kettle
You must've been

So who are you to wave your finger?
Who are you to wave your fatty fingers at me?
You must have been out your mind!

Weeping shades of indigo
Shed without a reason
Weeping shades of indigo

Liar, lawyer,
Mirror for ya
What's the difference?

Kangaroo be stoned
He's guilty as the government
NOW!!

You're weeping shades of cozened indigo
Got lemon juice up in your EYE!!
EYE!!

When you pissed all over my black kettle
You must've been
HIGH! HIGH! HIGH! HIGH!

Eyeballs deep in muddy waters
Your balls deep in muddy waters
Ganja, please
You must have been out your MIND!!!!

-The Pot--Tool

Wee,homecoming was a blast.Here is mah dress...


And I'm not putting a pic of my date on here because I don't want to impose on his privacy.I had a fun time,it was a blast.I got a call from him today,and I'm going to go to his homecoming on the 25,so I'm excited for that.

I watched that new show Eleventh Hour on NBC last Thurs.,but I missed it this Thurs.,can someone tell me what it was about.It has the beautiful Rufus Sewell in it.I love him ^_^

Oh, the gentlemen are talking and the midnight moon is on the riverside,
They're drinking up and walking and it is time for me to slide.
I live in another world where life and death are memorized,
Where the earth is strung with lovers' pearls and all I see are dark eyes.

A cock is crowing far away and another soldier's deep in prayer,
Some mother's child has gone astray, she can't find him anywhere.
But I can hear another drum beating for the dead that rise,
Whom nature's beast fears as they come and all I see are dark eyes.

They tell me to be discreet for all intended purposes,
They tell me revenge is sweet and from where they stand, I'm sure it is.
But I feel nothing for their game where beauty goes unrecognized,
All I feel is heat and flame and all I see are dark eyes.

Oh, the French girl, she's in paradise and a drunken man is at the wheel,
Hunger pays a heavy price to the falling gods of speed and steel.
Oh, time is short and the days are sweet and passion rules the arrow that flies,
A million faces at my feet but all I see are dark eyes.

Dark Eyes-Bob Dylan

Hey guys,I'm sorry to all that are pissed at me for not updating in forever,but I've been so busy,its crazy.

Anyway news:I got accepted into West Virginia University for the fall of 09,and my audition for the school of music is in January.Composition majors have to bring in a shit load of things that they wrote,and I have written anything for a concert band,just rock guitar.Screwed there.So my might have to start out majoring in Music Education,which means I don't have to meet any requirements.

More news:Tomorrow is silly dress day at my school for homecoming week.I bought Joker clothes,ergo,I shall be the Joker.I am taking pics and will post them on here tomorrow maybe.

Also maureen:Watched High Fidelity and I loved it.Jack Black is God in ADHD form.

Once again,super busy,and I have to go.Will hopefully update tomorrow.

SALUTO!

The sweet pretty things are in bed now of course
The city fathers they're trying to endorse
The reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the town has no need to be nervous

The ghost of Belle Starr she hands down her wits
To Jezebel the nun she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper who sits
At the head of the chamber of commerce

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

The hysterical bride in the penny arcade
Screaming she moans, "I've just been made"
Then sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
Says, "My advice is to not let the boys in"

Now the medicine man comes and he shuffles inside
He walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride
You will not die, it's not poison"

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief
Looks up at his hero the Commander-in-Chief
Saying, "Tell me great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"

The Commander-in-Chief answers him while chasing a fly
Saying, "Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky
Saving, "The sun's not yellow it's chicken"

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

The king of the Philistines his soldiers to save
Puts jawbones on their tombstones and flatters their graves
Puts the pied pipers in prison and fattens the slaves
Then sends them out to the jungle

Gypsy Davey with a blowtorch he burns out their camps
With his faithful slave Pedro behind him he tramps
With a fantastic collection of stamps
To win friends and influence his uncle

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

The geometry of innocent flesh on the bone
Causes Galileo's math book to get thrown
At Delilah who sits worthlessly alone
But the tears on her cheeks are from laughter

Now I wish I could give Brother Bill his great thrill
I would set him in chains at the top of the hill
Then send out for some pillars and Cecil B. DeMille
He could die happily ever after

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

Where Ma Raney and Beethoven once unwrapped their bed roll
Tuba players now rehearse around the flagpole
And the National Bank at a profit sells road maps for the soul
To the old folks home and the college

Now I wish I could write you a melody so plain
That could hold you dear lady from going insane
That could ease you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your useless and pointless knowledge

Mama's in the fact'ry
She ain't got no shoes
Daddy's in the alley
He's lookin' for the fuse
I'm in the streets
With the tombstone blues

-Tombstone Blues--Bob Dylan

So,first the update on my life before I get to my new revelation. My grandma had a heart attack last friday,and was immediately rushed to the hospital.My grandma is like my mother,I love her so much.Mom and I went down to Charleston on Sunday,and on Monday,she had a heart cath to see what the damage was to her heart,and also to find out if there were any blockages.The surgery went fine,it was a routine thing for the doctors.At first,they saw two blockages.One was small and insignificant,and they weren't worried about it.The other,they said at the time, was 60% blocked,which actually isn't that bad,but they said that is most likely what caused the heart attack.I'm not sure what happened,but they found another blockage that was 90% blocked,and it had to be operated on immediately,but they said that she needed a few days to recover from the first surgery,and scheduled it for Thursday.We went back down on Thursday,and Nana looked better then she did last time we were down there,before the surgery that is.After surgery...it was so scary.The wait was scary.They had this phone there,and the nurse at the desk would answer it,and call out the last name of the family that it was for.They said "Colombo" three times,and every time I died inside,but it was never anything important: flower delivery,notification that the procedure was starting (yea,after two fucking hours),and a notification that it was completed.They said that the surgery went great,there were no problems.We got to see her an hour and a half later,and that was so surreal. She was in the ICU,and when we walked back,it was like she was a different person.She was still asleep,they were keeping her that way until morning.She was intubated,so she had a massive tube coming out of her mouth,and she had ointment on her eyes to keep them moist,there were tubes coming out of everywhere.It was so scary,but I think that this morning was worse.We walked in there,and she was awake,the tube was out of her mouth,but she was in pain.My uncle Sammy,who is a doctor,said that her chest would be on fire.But she was complaining about her back cuz she isn't use to laying down all day.She kept moaning because of the pain,it was awful.To me,that was worse then all of the tubes.Mom and I left today,and I guess that they have her up and sitting in a chair,and she is doing a lot better now.

Anyway,I was going to bitch and moan about religion,but I still have things to do,so I'll follow up on that tomorrow.

Laters

PS: Maureen-I totally got that movie,and I'll try to watch it tomorrow.Laters.

Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake

Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake

Now slip slip slip slide
slip slip slip an slide
slip slip slip an slide
stop hol up tag team

ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
pause step up ice cream n cake

Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!

Now who dat is with the ice cream and cake?
The party aint live without the ice cream and cake.
Whatcha want some ice cream n cake.
All the kids like ice cream n cake.

Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!

Now slip slip slip slide
slip slip slip an slide
slip slip slip an slide
stop hol up tag team

ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
ride wit ya boy now slip n slide
pause step up ice cream n cake

Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake!
Ice cream n cake
do the ice cream n cake

Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake
Ice cream n cake n cake

you cant have your cookies
and ice cream and eat it too!

Ice Cream and Cake-Buckwheat Boyz

I feel like such a deadbeat.I said that I would update more about GHA,but of course I haven't.I haven't been on LJ in forever it seems like.*sigh* I've been wanting to write this Van Helsing fic forever now,and the plot bunny won't leave me alone,so I HAVE been working on it.See,my problem with writing is that I'm more of a visual person,and I'm describing my characters right now, and I'm so tempted to just draw a really bad picture and just be like "here is what they look like".Shit.

On top of that,I need a beta reader that I can actually talk to daily,and not one that lives in fucking Europe,although that wouldn't be that bad cuz they could help me with the history and shit.ANYWAY,can u guys tell I'm getting more and more frustrated?

Changing the subject,I've decided to buy a Siberian Husky my second year of college.Well,either a Husky or an Alaskan Mamalute. I haven't decided yet.Either way,I'm going to go work on my fic.Laters.

Good people of my LJ!Hear ye hear ye!I shall be leaving tomorrow to go to Governor's Honors Academy.It is a big frickin deal,so I'm feeling all high and mighty. But,alas my readers,I shant be here for 3 weeks.Yes,one month fair readers,I know that it will be hard,but if you all band together,you will make it through.

So,in a way to remember me by,here are a few random pictures.Some are making fun of Hillary Clinton,Bush,and other political fails.Some are of me in London and elsewhere.W/e enjoy and comment peeps.Just click on the cut too...

( 3 WHOLE WEEKS WHAT IN THE **** WILL YOU GUYS DO!?!?!? )

Is there anybody gone to listen to my story
All about the girl who came to stay?
She's the kind of girl you want so much
It makes you sorry;
Still, you don't regret a single day.
Ah girl! Girl!

She's the kind of girl who puts you down
When friends are there, you feel a fool.
Didididi..
When you say she's looking good
She acts as if it's understood.
She's cool, cool, cool, cool,
Girl! Girl! [Was she]

When I think of all the times I've tried to leave her
She will turn to me and start to cry;
And she promises the earth to me
And I believe her.
After all this times I don't know why.
Ah, girl! Girl!

She's the kind of girl who puts you down when friends are there,
You feel a fool.
When you say she's looking good, she acts as if it's understood.
She's cool, cool, cool, cool, Girl! Girl!

Was she told when she was young the pain
Would lead to pleasure?
Did she understand it when they said
That a man must break his back to earn
His day of leisure?
Will she still believe it when he's dead?
Ah girl! Girl! Girl!

-Girl--The Beatles

AS THE SUBJECT SAYS THIS IS MY ULTRA SUPER PRETTY ENTRY IN WHICH I WILL BE POSTING PICTURE AND VIDEOS OF SOME OF MY FAVORITE GUYS WOOTWOOT!











I love Serj ^_^

ANYWAY,I guess the last entry was too fucking weird for you people to comprehend, and that isn't an insult,cuz I just now read it again and was like "WTF".

My summer has been good so far.I meant to update this bitch a billion times,but I'm such a procrastinator.So first I went up to my grandma's (dad's side) and hung out up there for a few days.During that time,we watched Juno and There Will Be Blood.Now...prepared for some bitching.

SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!
For those of you that have seen Juno,you will know that the adoptive parents, Mark and Vanessa Loring (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) were a bit on the dysfunctional side.Mark was this wanna be rock star that had a small taste of fame earlier in life,but now composes music for TV commercials and has a tiny room for all of his guitars and shit.He is even quoted with saying "Yea,Vanessa gave me my own room for all my stuff." ANYWAY,Vanessa on the other hand wants a baby more then oxygen,but is barren or something.She is a neat freak and wants everything to be perfect.Once again...SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!SPOILERS!Mark and Vanessa eventually divorce.So after the movie,I'm up on the computer and my grandma comes up to get ready for bed and starts to talk about the movie.This is how our convo went...

G-Ma:So I think the most surprising thing was that they got divorced.
Me:Well,do you blame him?He was a guest in his own home.
G-Ma:But she gave him his OWN ROOM.
Me: * O_o * But it was HIS house.
G-Ma:He was a total jerk for leaving her.
Me:But he wasn't ready to be a father.
G-Ma:But he should have stayed with her.
Me:*lost for words*

So,I dunno who's side you're going to take,but HONESTLY!*grumble grumble*

Now,There Will Be Blood.AND OMG I TOTS HAVE SOME INCREDIBLE FOR ALL OF YOU DANIEL DAY-LEWIS FANS!




Pretty right!?!?Bah,I don't really care.ANYWAY,I told her in advance that it was one of my favorite movies,and IMEDITALLY FOLLOWING THE CLOSING "THERE WILL BE BLOOD" thingy,she turns to me and says with a face "why is THAT your favorite movie"? HAHA,she was the one that wanted to watch it!So I responded with "DID YOU NOT SEE THAT INCREDIBLE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND DANIEL DAY-LEWIS AND VISUALIZE HOW INCREDIBLE THE SCRIPT WAS AND DANIEL DAY-LEWIS AND DID YOU FREAKING SEE THE BAPTISM SCENE BETWEEN PAUL DANO AND DANIEL DAY-LEWIS AND PAUL DANO ACTING THAT SHOULD HAVE FLIPPIN BEEN UP FOR "BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR" THAT HE TOTALLY WOULD HAVE WON!?!?!?...daniel day-lewis." Maybe I didn't say DDL's name that many times,BUT I WAS THINKING IT!

Now for the final story,and there is actually no bitching in this one *watches as hell freezes over*. Grandma decided that she would like a viewing of "Gangs of New York".Okay,you reader.Picture watching GONY with your grandparents.Now get back to me on how awkward that would be.The first thing you see (and I am not joking) when you put in the 2nd disc is DDL laying among 3 very nude women...who are actually laying on him BUT THATS NOT THE POINT!POINT:I am not watching explicit sex and nude scenes with my grandparents.So...how to deflect this... "Grandma...I've seen that movie soooooooooooooo many times (true story) what about Sweeney Todd?" Moral of the story:Violence can replace sex no matter what anyone says.Here is another picture for good measure.




Hell,have a video.



So anyway,I'm sorry to leave you,and I only know that I posted pics of only two people,but get over it.Its 2 in the morning,and I'm going to bed.I'll do some more later.But here,watched this and laugh you ass off.Its not Serj or Daniel,buts its about milkshakes,and its THE FUNNEST THING EVER!

Leave a comment and I will:

a) tell you why I friended you,
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite user pic of yours,
g) in return, you must post this in your LJ. (you really don't have to if you don't want)


Thanks to maureen for this.

ANYWAY,I finally completed my thesis for my English class.I did it on the Five Families of New York.Click the cut peeps ( The Five Families )

Whilst watching There Will Be Blood for the millionth time,I realized that DDL character reminds me a lot of...me.Here,you ppl that know me,tell me if this doesn't sound like my personality description...

Plainview: Are you an angry man Henry...Are you envious? Do you get envious?...I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people...There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone...I see the worst in people. I don't need to look past seeing them to get all I need. I've built my hatreds up over the years, little by little, Henry...I can't keep doing this on my own with these... people.
[laughs]

NOTE:This quote was not said in this order.I took all of the extraneous things out.

So yea...I do hate most people,and the reason I hate them is because ANYTHING I find good in them is demolished by their terrible personalities.And I think that anyone that has spoken a single word to me will tell you that I am very very competitive.Or not,I try not to show it,but anytime something good happens to someone,even if I didn't give two shits about it,I still have to force myself to congratulate them or anything.Its mostly people my age though.

Another thing that I was thinking about:I got my ACT scores back,and while I didn't get the greatest composite score,I realized that I'm smart.I got a 24 for those interested.Math drug me down my the ankles.27 and a 29 in English and a 22 in science.ANYWAY,I don't think that I'm smart in the way that society measures brilliance,but I'm smart in a way that I know people.Remember how I said that I immediately judge someone (or maybe I didn't say that,but I was thinking it),I feel like I immediately know them.I know how to play them.How to get what I want from them.I'm a good judge of character.

I also realized something else:that people that I'm mean to have either A:Pissed me off or B:I have them figured out and they are rendered boring or C:are just too fucking crazy and weird for me to spend time communicating with their odd-ass behavior.The people that I talk to are A:Interesting,even if I would never admit it to them B:Annoying enough for me to get revenge by constantly pissing them off or C:Have completely opposite personalities of me.People that I find have the same personality as me I find unamusing and quite frankly,a complete bitch (which is prolly what most people think of me,but IDC).Now,people w/ similar interests I could talk to all day.Example:A really nice boy interested in acting.That would kick ass.

Anyway,these are just some epiphanies of mine for tonight.

Oh yea,I made it to states for track.Leaving at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow,won't be back till Sat.WOOT.

OKay,so this is my "fuck you" speech for the day.I will start labeling the subject as FU or,I could just tag it.Whatever,as always,IDC fuck the world.

So,I just got done watching There Will Be Blood.Daniel Day-Lewis was incredibly beautiful,even if he was always COVERED in either dirt or oil.Amazing acting.So much so that I shall start studying method acting.ANYWAY,now to the FU part...

ANYONE THAT DOESN'T LIKE THIS AMAZING MOVIE...FUCK YOU.BIG TIME.IN YOUR 1900s OIL HATING ASS.

U WANT TO FUCKING KNOW WHY I THINK THAT THERE IS NO FUCKING GOD!?BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE TRASH!THEY ARE FUCKING VILE MUTANT PIECES OF SHIT AND IT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT TO BELIEVE THAT THIS GUY THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE KIND AND THE MOST FUCKING GREATEST POWER ON EARTH CAN CREATE SOMETHING SO FUCKING CRUEL AND JUST WORTHLESS FUCKS AS MAN!!!!!

http://animalsaviors.org/

GO TO THAT FUCKING WEBSITE AND FUCKING WATCH THAT VIDEO ON THERE!AND ANYONE THAT HAS THE UNFORGIVABLE AUDACITY TO NOT EVEN CARE OR ACT OR EVEN FUCKING TRY TO FUCKING SAY THAT ANIMALS DON'T HAVE SOLES OR EMOTIONS OR ANY FUCKING THING CAN FUCKING BURN IN THEIR MYTHICAL HELL!!!

YOU LAZY SHIT WADS OUT THERE THAT ARE SO FUCKING IGNORANT AS TO SAY THAT IT ISN'T YOUR PROBLEM ARE JUST AS FUCKING BAD AS THE DUMBSHITS DOING IT!

LIVING BEINGS DO NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE FUCKING WORTHLESS PILES OF SHIT!THE ONLY EXCEPTIONS TO THAT ARE THE SCUM THAT ARE DOING THAT.AND IF ANYONE DARES TO COMMENT CALLING ME A FUCKING TREE HUGGER OR PULL ANY OF THAT UNEDUCATED OR BRAINWASHED CHRISTIAN SHIT,YOU CAN SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS BECAUSE IF I HAD ANY KIND OF HOPE THAT THERE WAS IN FACT A WONDERFUL PLACE THAT I GO TO WHEN I DIE,OR THAT GOD DOES EXIST,IT IS ALL COMPLETELY GONE.HUMANS ARE THE MOST PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR LIFE ON THIS PLANET.ANYTHING GOOD THAT HAPPENS IN THIS WORLD IS COMPLETELY DEFILED BY WARS AND HATE,BOTH THE BYPRODUCTS OF MAN.

I'm so sick and tired of all of the fighting and the killing that people do.I want it all to end and to be over.Why are people like that?Why is it so bad to care?

And if I had a clue I'd know exactly
What to do
If I were the wiser of the two

And if I saw it all so clear
I'd write it down and bend your ear
If I were the clearer of the two

We could take a walk into the
Canyons of 5th avenue
Sing and dance... just to name a few

All I do
All I do

And if I heard the angels sing I'd
Sing it back to you and bring the
Sound of heaven ringing just for you

And if I saw the sun fall down
I'd pick it up and make a crown
One that was a perfect fit for you

We could take a walk
Into the apple orchard by the school
We could make a little residue

We could find a place to stay
A secret little hide away
Spend a little time inside of you

All I do
All I do

All eyes
All eyes
All eyes on you

All I do
All I do
All I do
All I do

-If--Red Hot Chili Peppers

Nothing much has been going on.Under loads of stress because of my fucking research topic.Piss on it.

We had prom,and I didn't go.I sorta wish that I did cuz I love dances,but I dunno.Its all good.Everyone was talking about how short Maryanne's dress was,and its odd.I made up with her in London,and now I find that I can't talk bad about her.She is really cool,and probably one of the best friends that I will ever have.She made me feel good about myself,and even did it in the short time we hung out in London.I regret being so petty that I didn't bitch out some sense into her, and myself really.I dunno,just a thought.

SALUTO!

Come to decide that the things that I tried were in my life just to get high on.
When I sit alone, come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe that we rely on
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more - time to decide on.
Well it's killing me, when will I really see, all that I need to look inside.
Come to belive that I better not leave before I get my chance to ride,
Well it's killing me, what do I really need - all that I need to look inside.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
Come back and hey oh, look at what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go;
Inbetween the cover of another perfect wonder and it's so white as snow,
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

Ho!
Went to descend to ammend for a friend of the channels that had broken down.
Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up - just to hear you sing it out.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do belive what we rely on,
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh... listen what I say oh

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go
Inbetween the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I said hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finaly divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go.
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow...
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I said hey oh yeah oh yeah... tell my love now
Hey yeah yeah... oh yeah.

-Snow (Hey Oh)--Red Hot Chili Peppers

Blah,nothin has been happening.My prom thing is of notable quality though:

Because the gods have it in for me,they have rendered me dateless for prom.Ergo,I shall be one of those fat ugly bitches that goes alone and looks like a tard.Woot woot.

Anyway,I'ma going to go cuz mah cramps hurt so bad that I might actually cry.

Right,so here is some more from London...

It was great.
The food was good.
The people were nice.
Americans complain more then any other race on the PLANET.
The people have an odd sense of humor.
I miss it *sigh*.

It's true, we're all a little insane.
But it's so clear,
Now that I'm unchained.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me. Don't deny.
Sweet sacrifice.

One day I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain.

Fear is only in our minds,
Taking over all the time.
Fear is only in our minds but it's taking over all the time.

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
And oh you love to hate me don't you, honey?
I'm your sacrifice.

(I dream in darkness
I sleep to die,
Erase the silence,
Erase my life,
Our burning ashes
Blacken the day,
A world of nothingness,
Blow me away.)

Do you wonder why you hate?
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

You poor sweet innocent thing.
Dry your eyes and testify.
You know you live to break me.
Don't deny.
Sweet sacrifice.

Sweet Sacrifice-Evanescence

Clearly I survived.It was so kickass,I loved every minute of it.We went to castles,cathedrals,towns,houses...it was amazing.

I went on a Jack the Ripper tour one night with the world's leading expert on Jack as a tour guide,and he sold copies of his book after the tour,and I bought one,got it autographed and a pic with him.

I stood on top of Dover Castle and watched boats sail through the English Channel.

I got lost in Dover Castle.

I accidentally mocked the royal family in front of a Briton. (long story short:there was all of these weapons in Windsor Castle,a castle of the royal family,and in the mist of all these weapons was a iron rod w/ a hand on it that looked like a back scratcher,so I said to someone "look,its thy royale back scratcher".I elaborated on how it might have felt and such,and little to my knowledge,there was a guard behind me getting angrier and angrier...)

I got lost in Windsor Castle.

I became friends w/ Maryanne again.

I was in the Tower of London.

Dover Castle shop doesn't sell Memory Cards for a camera.

I almost head butted a senior citizen.

If there is a god,Craig Paige was made sculpted by him.

If you share the name of the tour guide,confusion and frustration will be created.

London is the best place ever!

I will say more later,I'm being shipped to my grandparents tomorrow morning.Jenn,call me on my cell to hear more!

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better?

Let it rain, Let it pour
Let it rain, Let it pour
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Let it rain, Let it pour

Cruise-control distressed, her kind of cursed and kind of blessed her, engine running on the fume
Vision blue and blurry, falling angels in a flurry, spinning thru the empty room
Did you come here to dance?
Whats in your glass?
Do you feel better now?

Let it rain, Let it pour
Let it rain, Let it pour
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Let it rain, Let it pour

Super automatic pilot motor running down circles in the parking lot
Self-sustaining system bit her in the neck and quick and kissed her and took all she got

Let it rain (Hallelujah), Let it pour
Let it rain (Hallelujah), Let it pour
Let it pour (Hallelujah)
Let it pour (Hallelujah)
Let it pour

Let It Rain-OK GO

Even though I'm over my fear of planes,I still feel very...empty I guess you can say.There is this Scrubs episode where Elliot tells this patient that he has 7 months to live.So he quits his job,his wife left him,and he is okay with that because he convinced himself that life isn't worth living,so whats the point?But then,he comes back in for a check-up,and everything is fine,so he ends up suing her because his life was so empty.Thats the way I feel.Every bad thing that has happened to me in the pass few months,I've taken in stride because I have it in my head that it won't matter.

Every time my parents or anyone else talks about college,I resist the urge to do either of these things:cry or roll my eyes.Because I think that I won't be around for it.Horrible,I know.But you have no idea how confident I will be if I come back from this.No idea at all.This is another "walk in my shoes" thing:

I will go to college!I will get my own car,see what its like to play whatever the hell I want on MY stereo,do what I want in MY house,have kids,get married,get divorced...

Has anyone else spent a day mourning yourself,knowing when you will die,knowing the moment it will come,knowing you can stop it but at the same time you can't do anything?

Have you ever felt the fear that normally comes from dying,but have the instinct of human curiosity of what will come after?

Have you ever just sat down in the snow,on the coldest day of the year just because you can,and you know you will never be able to again?

Have you ever hugged your pet for a solid 5 minutes,knowing they too have feelings and will know that you're no longer with them.

Have you ever carried around a picture of a lost loved one,constantly staring at it to memorize their face,how they acted,because you know that you will be reunited with them soon?

Have you ever been at a dinner table,surrounded by people you've known for years,but felt so alone that you wanted to get up and scream in their faces just so they will have something...anything,to remember you bye?

Have you ever had to go about your normal life,just so your loved ones won't get worried and ask you whats wrong?

Have you ever put on your "strong face" for your father,your protector and role model,just so you won't have that image of him broken by him crying?

Please someone,tell me that I will be alright so that I can stop doing these things.Tell me anything,just help.I honestly can't do it anymore.

First few results behind the cut ppl kthxbye!


( Let it rain let it pour,hallelujah halleujah! )

I decided to do a music version of the move quotes.Pick 20 of your favorite song lyrics,and since some lyrics are the same,include the genre that your song falls under.Or you can include multiple lines from the song,which ever.I apologize for any mistakes,I'm doing these off the top of my head.

Just to cut out the middle man,all of my song are going to be metal or rock except for the first which is acoustic.God speed Spiderman.


1."We are not as divided,as our politics suggest." (hint:you can't find this on a CD)

2."I've come here to kill you,
won't leave until you've died
Murder born of vengeance,
I closed my brothers eyes tonight..."

3."Can't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying from anticipation
Choking from intoxication..."

4."Keep your fingers crossed,
truth is at a lost.
Big decision for an ordinary coward
The only problem is your fucking rhetoric
More in danger then before you took power."

5."I wrote you
and told you
you were the biggest fish out here.
You should've never gone to Hollywood."

6."Every time I try to go where I really want to be
it's already where I am.
Cause I'm already there."

7."It was easy to tell
it was love from above that could save me from Hell.
She had fire in her soul
It was easy to see
how the devil himself could be pulled out of me."

8."No colors anymore
I want them to turn black.
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes.
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes."

9."Lets go get lost anywhere in the USA
Let's go get lost
let's go get lost."

10."Just when you think you're in control
Just when you think you've got a hold
Just when you get on a roll."

11."Crazy over the rainbow I am crazy
Bars in the window
There must have been a door there in the wall
When I came in
Crazy over the rainbow he is crazy."

12."She's over-worked,and self assured
Oh no,I know a dirty word"

13."Save yourself a penny for the fairy man
Save yourself and let them suffer"

14."Where never going to quit
Ain't nothing wrong with it."

15."Whats the worst that I could say?
Things were better if I stayed
so long and good night
so long and good night."

16."Darkness
Imprisoning me
All I see
Absolute Horror
I Cannot Live
I Cannot Die
Trapped in Myself
Body My Holding Cell"

17."Sing along mockingbird
You don't effect me."

18."She the angel with the dirty face
And it seems to me
She's a casualty
Of all the pressure
We put on her
And now we've lost her for good."

19."You want everyone to act like you
Kiss ass on your bitch so you can get rich
But your boss gets richer off you.
You'll work hard with a gun in your back
for a bowl of rice a day

20."Once more you say those lies to me
Why can't you just be straight up with honesty?
When you say those things in my ear,
why do you always tell me what you wanna hear?
Wear your heart on your sleeve,
make things start to blieve
I'm not feeling this situation.
Run away,try to find that safe place you can't hide."




I did loads for the last one cuz it might be hard for some of you

Well I don't think that you guys are going to get anymore,so here are the movies as well as the actors that said the lines...



1."Drainage! Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drained dry. I'm so sorry." There Will Be Blood-Daniel Day-Lewis

2. "I have to see this, Dad. You have to let me go. I want to fight. Please! I have to see this. Just let me go!" phantomsangel48 War Of the Worlds

3."You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest." maureen Little Miss Sunshine- Paul Dano

4. "Has excessive begging or pleading ever persuaded me to spare the life of a traitor?"
"..."
"What does that mean?"
"That means no."
"Good! Throw them again. But this time throw them high.Do you work for my brother?" phantomsangel48 Stardust- Mark Strong

5. "I have abandoned my child!...Say it.Say it!"
"*mumble*"
"Say it louder...say it louder!"
"I've abandoned my child! I've abandoned my child! I've abandoned my boy!" phantomsangel48 There Will Be Blood-Daniel Day-Lewis

6. "You can milk just about anything with nipples."
"I have nipples, Greg, could you milk me?" phantomsangel48 Meet the Parents- Ben Stiller to Robert De Niro

7. "There's no mayo... this is bullshit!" phantomsangel48 Meet the Spartans-Sean Maguire

8."Yes, Henry. Look, but don't touch. That's your way."
"Just shut up. I won't be tricked again."
"Tricked? You've known what I was about each time you drank the formula."
"Liar. I am a good man."
"Who's lying now?" maureen The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen-Jason Flemyng

9. "Do you really think death frightens me now?I watched my eldest son die, watched you drag his body behind your chariot.Give him back to me.He deserves a proper burial, you know that.Give him to me." illwynd Troy- Peter O'Toole

10."Why do you torment that thing so?"
"It's what I do." Van Helsing-Richard Roxburgh

11."Hey slim, are you wearing my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours, and they're not doing the trick." The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy-Sam Rockwell

12. "Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis..."
"That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot." illwynd Monty Python and the Holy Grail-Neil Innes

13."I don't care. I'm just gonna smoke. I'm just gonna totally smoke. I'll finish these, go to the store and get a brand new pack, smoke the shit out of that one."Secret Window-Johnny Depp

14. "You've come to kill me, haven't you?"
"Yes."
"Thank God." maureen and phantomsangel48 V for Vendetta-Hugo Weaving

15."Forget about them, more fun for us! Like what you see, huh? Let's get involved!"Wild Hogs-Johnny C. McGinly